Bill 97

After a long and difficult battle, we seem to be making some headway.

I am writing this from a hotel on the outskirts of Ottawa, where we have made repeated attempts to talk with the attorney general. In terms of legislation, we are attacking Bill 97, which legalizes the immediate (and unprovoked) "euthanasia" of the undead-- or those suffering from Z. Phasmatis, who experience post-mortal activity.

The meetings have been met with difficulty. The attorney general himself has been consistently busy with other matters whenever we attempt to discuss the matter with him. And even though we have our own legal team behind us, it seems we are rarely taken very seriously.

We have also attempted to bring our concerns to the house of commons, in the hopes of passing our own act against violence against the suffers of Z. Phasmatis. Although some politicians have shown their support, they admit that they desire us to attempt to win over popular favor before attempting to pass a protective act in the house... essentially, what they are trying to tell us is that they cannot guarantee any support more than their own, and currently that is not the majority.

The problem still lies with distribution of seats... although officially liberal, far too many seats are with the conservative government, who are staunch opposers of our goals, and strong supporters of Bill 97.

I've spent all day in meetings with people both within the legal departments and in our PR groups on how to gain support for our cause, without which, we are fighting a losing battle.

I am exhausted... and hope to report again soon with some better news, but for now, it seems that the holidays will slow down our efforts.

In the meantime, our interns in the office have reported positive numbers when it comes to recent cases. It seems that our DTZP (Diplomatic Treatment of Z. Phasmatis) rate is high, with field officers reporting only a 30% casualty rate due to discriminatory hostility rate. As promising as that is, it still means that 30% of all cases end in unprovoked violence. Sufferers from Z. Phasmatis are rarely if ever hostile, and yet they are constantly met with violence.

Out of all our cases, only 4 have had reports of a sufferer of Z. Phasmatis proving violent. Not 4%... 4 CASES. Out of all our cases, that amounts to 0.003 % of sufferers who have any violent tendency.

I don't know the exact statistic for this, but I'm pretty sure that qualifies the undead as being less violent than the average human.

So I keep on fighting. At least... until I sleep. Which I must do.

Keep up the fight, people! We WILL win this, and will see peace for us and our loved ones.

God bless,

-- Shannon

Annual Report

It has been a long time coming, but the annual report is finally up.

It has been a very long year for us here in the offices.  We have been traveling a lot, trying to spread the word.  The job is, at times, seemingly thankless.  As our intern exposed, we are subject to a lot of hatred, as with many liberal organizations.  Change is not an easy thing to convince others to attempt, and we understand, if we are at times frustrated.

Still, the job is not without its benefits.  We have been lucky, and even though the situation is always difficult when dealing with Z. Phasmatis, we feel we have been there to help others understand how to make the best out of a very difficult situation.

Anyway, for those interested in learning more about our organization, the annual report paints as vivid a picture I can give.

As I have said many times, we have a long way to go, but are continuously thankful for all your love and support.

-- Shannon

Show us your love!

Hello Zombie-Faithful's,

For those of you who do not know who I am, which is everyone, my name is Malcolm and I have been charged with maintaining the information flow of this site while both co-founders are away doing field work. I know, I know... not as glory ridden as being out there helping families cope, but still it's something, right?

Well, I must be honest and say it is my secret agenda/intention to lighten this site up!!! Seems too heavy in content. It needs a corner to lighten your spirits. It's not easy being persecuted for what you believe in. As such I bring to you, dear readers, a section I have titled "Show us your love". We get a fair amount of hate mail and feel it's only fair that we give voice and criticism to these 'lovers'. We can't all be professionals... ;p Enjoy :)

OnlyGoodZombieisaDeadZombie wrote:
"I hope you've brought your sandals and swim wear because it's going to be hot where your going when the dust settles from all this. Incase you were too dumb to realize that's hell!"

Z.E.D: The only good zombie is a dead zombie? Say your name out loud... I know zombies with more processing power than you right now...

ZombieKillaz wrote:
"Dear Zombie-loving-F---s. Why don't you go hug a zombie then see how far your philosophies of undead love takes you!"

Z.E.D: There is a common misconception that we make love to zombies. We don't. Although I'm sure your wives would rather make love to us. Burn.

L33tz wrote:
"I think you sickos need a wake-up call! Zombie rights??!! Are you serious?!?! You're really just a bunch of glory hounds!!! A bunch of sycophantic liberal minded fools, too afraid to face the real issues and hoping someone else will do the dirty work for you! Cling to your unearned moral high ground because I'll be there when you are forced to kill a zombie! Then I'll rub it in your face! It's easy to say what you do from the safety of your rallies. Wake-up a--holes, the undead are coming and they won't be taking any sides!"

Z.E.D: Our message is one of compassion, our strength comes from the inside. Remember this as you cling to the hilt of your weapon in fear... we wouldn't expect you to understand but thanks for stopping by.

Well, that's all I have for now. Sad, but I figure since I've only known about this for literally fifteen minutes I thought it was pretty good! :) The other good thing is there are millions upon millions of emails, letters etc... so this isn't over yet. Frightening I know.

Peace-out.

Intern

Upcoming Annual Report

I have been hard at work on the annual report for Z.E.D. and while this year, our organization was able to document and help many cases of the Zombie outbreak, we still have a lot of work ahead of us.

For instance, our science division still needs medical scientists to help us further understand how to treat those suffering from this shocking illness. How are those suffering from the disease able to exist independent of any blood pressure or flow? Why is it that there are momentary lapses of consciousness mixed with the more stereotypical, non-conscious entities more commonly referred to as Zombies?

We also need the help of those people who have encounters with zombies of which we are not currently aware. As you may know, there is a Zombie Incident Report (Z.I.R. form) on the right side of this blog. If you have encountered a zombie and would like to report it, please tell us your story, and provide feedback so we can not only help you in your situation, but also help us help others as well.

A filmmaker, who wishes to remain unnamed until the release of his newest project, has also asked us permission to film a documentary on this organization. Feeling that this can only help further promote our ideals to others, we have agreed to the terms. We will also be sponsoring the filmmaker's chronicle of one of our most famous cases.

We feel that the story of those brave souls we have encountered should be known to the world, and feel this filmmaker is doing a great service to our cause.

We also feel that many people have great services which they too can offer, so if you would like to make a suggestion on how you can help, feel free to donate either your time or money to this worthy cause, either by making a donation (right side of the screen) or by filling out our application (also on the right). Please note that any anonymous donations we receive obviously cannot receive any credits or complimentary materials, so as much as we appreciate the donations, please feel free to send us your info so we can be sure to reward you for your help.

Thanks for making this a great year, and looking forward to seeing what more we can do for the world.

Slight Updates (more to come)

You may have noticed that there have been a few changes to the blog. The most notable is the addition of the donations button on the top right. As a new company, most of the funds for operation come from the founding members, or the Friends of Zombies, a devoted group of people founded in 2001. There has been annual meetings with the Friends of Zombies to help organize rallies, and to further spread the word about Zombie cruelty. Becoming a Friend of Zombies is as easy as making a donation of $5 or more (there is even a place to dedicate the donation to a Zombie of your choice).

Also, for those interested in becoming volunteers in either services, sponsorships, or even to help organize our rallies and meetings, please fill in our application on the right with a note as to what services you can do to help.

Although recent events have made this year difficult, we look forward to many improvements both in our organization and in the quality of existence for those suffering with the Zombie illness. Remember that life deserves rights, even the life of the undead.

Your growing support is, as always, greatly appreciated.

-- S. J. Stever (Co-Founder)

Inauguration

We have begun this organization, which we refer to as Z.E.D. (Zombie Education and Defense) in order to educate the populace about the growing issue of discriminatory violence against Zombies.

If you would like to learn more about this organization, including how you can join, either leave a comment, or subscribe to join this blog (clicking "follow" on the right hand window). You can also put in an application to fully join the organization by clicking on the Z.E.D. Application Form (also on the right hand window).

We will bring more information to this site as soon as possible. Please bear with us as we fully initialize our organization.

Thank you for your consideration,

S. J. Stever (moderator/co-founder)